Stage crew are a distinct species from actors. They're tight knit (unlike actors), and express a lot of affection for one another (also unlike actors), even though tempers can flare. Tech crews are a rough and tumble group, prone to cussing at each other in crunch time. I try to let that roll off, but fact is, I hate to be cussed at. Tonight I pulled a Frederick special: I clammed up. Eventually I got over that, but still resent being shoved. But despite the cussing and the shoving, for the duration of this run, I'm in solidarity with the crew. They're fast, practical, and born again for theater. And they do really care about one another. I probably just need to toughen my skin and push back. I feel like an observer still, on the outside looking in. That's the writer in me.
Been noticing this curious cultural divide between cast and crew. The dancers, who are the youngest members of the cast, are always conscientious about thanking the crew, and they talk to us backstage. But the principals...does eye contact cause you pain? Does it burn? Because you make every effort to avoid eye contact. Avoidance takes more energy than a simple hello. It's strange to be invisible to people I KNOW. Shame on you, naughty musical theater actors.
Well, I continue to have a great deal of respect and admiration for tech crews. Moreso now. But still don't like being shoved.