Thespis of Icaria, a Leading Man
Glaucus, a member of the Greek Chorus
Jerkus, a rival member of the Greek Chorus
Time: 6th century
B.C.
Location: Ancient Greece. On
stage at Athens Amphitheater. 10 minutes until Curtain.
Props: Sword. Sword
belt. A mask of Tragedy and 2 masks of Comedy (Optional. Actors may pantomime those faces instead.)
Costume: Matching togas.
Thespis’ toga is too short. Glaucus’ toga is baggy and too large. Jerkus’ toga
is just right.
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Glaucus: (Enters
from wing, calling off-stage) Thank you, Ten!
Thespis: (Enters
from opposite side of Glaucus, doing vocal warm-up exercises...culminating with) DRACH-mah. drrrrach-ma. drach-MAH!
Glaucus: Thespis, stop worrying. Tonight you will give
an Olympian performance. If your voice fails, you can always rely on
your lovely face.
Thespis: But I'll be wearing a mask.
Glaucus: Even wearing the mask of Tragedy, your
unique talent shines through, my boy. Like a star in the heavens! No doubt,
after tonight’s performance, Zeus himself will reserve a spot in the night sky
for your soul to sparkle when you ascend.
Thespis: Does my face look lovelier when I speak in
this direction, (turns head in profile to
audience) or speak in this direction?
Glaucus: Where will your audience be seated? Speak
in the direction of their ears.
Thespis: But what if I misspeak, Glaucus?! What if tonight,
in front of all the free citizens of Athens, I, Thespis of Icaria, flub
history’s first line?
(Groups of ladies and
men are arriving for the show.)
Glaucus: Welcome to Athens Amphitheater, Senators, Ladies.
Have you come to see tonight's Choral performance? Most excellent. We have a very
special treat for you tonight. Very special indeed. (to Thespis) See how the nymphs look longingly upon you, and even
the satyrs...
Thespis: Satyrs! (Leading
man smile.)
Glaucus: ...much admire your comely good looks.
Thespis: But tonight, Glaucus, will god-like beauty be enough?
Glaucus: I said good looks.
Thespis: I don’t want to be known merely as a glorious
physique, an Adonis.
Glaucus: (under
breath) Narcissus more like.
Thespis: I want to be remembered—nay Glaucus, celebrated
down through history for my skill as …as an…what do we call this? Is it
choric refrain anymore? With only one singer? We don’t have a word for this in
Greek. Am I really the first...ever…to try this?
Glaucus: To my knowledge, dear Thespis, which
admittedly is not so vast as your own, I never before heard of a Chorus member
who attempted a solo.
(Jerkus enters)
Jerkus: Nor should it be attempted.
Thespis and Glaucus
in chorus: (intense dislike) Salutations, Jerkus!
Jerkus: Since the dawn of Chronus, there has
always been a Chorus. We are the necessary foundation of a story well told. How
else would the audience understand the playwright’s meaning? Without the Chorus
to explain it to them? In song.
Glaucus: But never before has a single member of the
Chorus stepped forward by himself, under his own spot of torchlight, and spoken
in the voice of another man or acted out the deeds of another man or pretended to
be another. Indeed Thespis, what you are attempting is the birth of a new kind
of theater.
Jerkus: Don’t break a leg stepping
under that spot of torchlight.
Thespis: (acid)
Why thank you, Jerkus, for your too kind words. (Stage whispering to Glaucus) But Glaucus, how does one person
pretend to be another?
Glaucus: Uhhh…alright, let's start with your name.
Thespis: Surely you know me, Glaucus. We have sung together
the stories of gods and heroes in wild, dithyrambic refrain for 8 years. Thespis.
Of Icaria.
Jerkus: Genius!
Glaucus: Dear Zeus. Yes, I do know you, Thespis, my lovely
boy. Now introduce yourself as the person you pretend to be.
Thespis: Oh! Of course. Right! (grabs Glaucus by the forearm in a Greco-Roman handshake. Casually
introduces himself as if to a business associate.) I am Pericles.
Glaucus: You are? Really?! This is how an orator, a statesman, a general of Thrace greets his warriors?!
Thespis: I am Pericles?
Glaucus: Mean it. Again!
Thespis: I am Pericles!
Glaucus: More authority! Again!
Thespis: I am Pericles! I am Pericles!
Glaucus: (tents
fingertips together and nods) Goooooood.
Jerkus: That was good?
Thespis: (to
Jerkus) I shall instill fear and respect for Pericles in the audience.
Glaucus: Not the audience. The armies of Thrace! If
you pretend to be Pericles, then pretend to stand where Pericles stands. (Turns Thespis by the shoulders toward
audience.) On a hilltop, above the valley where Thracian warriors have
assembled to receive your command.
Thespis: Yes, I see. And then, I shall roar like a
fearsome lion. (Roars!)
(Jerkus roars in
laughter, mocking Thespis.)
Thespis: (ignoring
Jerkus) To instill fear and respect in the audience...(catching on) the armies of Thrace!
(silence)
Glaucus: (beat)
I like where you are going. Choose something else.
(Thespis struggles to
come up with a new idea.)
Glaucus: For example, draw your sword, thus. Instead
of roaring like an actual lion, speak your name…with a roar in your voice!
Thespis: (draws
sword) I…Am…Pericles!
Glaucus: You make me shudder. You are so real. Honestly,
Thespis, there should be a word, a name, for what you can do. Let us see...you pretend
to be another person. You imitate or mimic the words and actions of a character
in a story...
Jerkus: Thus you are a pretender? An imitator?
History's first mimicker?
Glaucus: No, I don't like the implied guile of pretender.
Imitator sounds cheap.
Thespis: And mimicker? I can’t even pronounce
mimicker without tripping. What about charmer? Because I charm the audience
into believing that I am indeed Pericles.
(More guests arrive at
the amphitheater.)
Glaucus: Good evening, ladies. Oh yes, many good
seats left. Just beyond the urinals. Upwind, I assure you! (calling after them as they pass by) Thank you for supporting local
theater!
Jerkus: Charmer sounds like spells and magic, a
snake charmer. A charlatan.
Glaucus: (to
Thespis) My dear boy, you are the leading man of the Chorus.
Jerkus: Leading man? (beat) No, that will never catch on.
Thespis: Will the audience accept me, Glaucus? Are
they willing to accept that I, Thespis of Icaria, humble singer…
Jerkus: Humble!
Thespis: …of the Athens Amphitheatre Choral Company,
speak for Pericles? That I truly am the Great Pericles?
Glaucus: (ruminates)
That depends on your motivation.
Thespis: My what? What in the name of Melpomene is
motivation?
Jerkus: This I gotta hear.
Glaucus: Motivation...is...uh? Ah! Motivation is “why
are you talking? Why are you doing such-and-such?” In real life, when we talk
or do something, it's because we want something. We are motivated to talk
because we want something. What does your hero want
that motivates him to say "I am Testicles!" (pronounced Testa-cleez)
Jerkus: (raucous
laughter) Oh Glaucus, the hero in this play is named "Pe-ri-cles".
Good thing Thespis is history's first "Leading Man".
Thespis: (movie
star smile to more passing nymphs and satyrs) Thank you for coming tonight.
Stay after the performance. I would be happy to autograph your papyrus. (rakish wink)
Glaucus: Quite true! I have no mind for memorizing
lines. I would flub history’s first line for sure if I were standing in your
sandals. Instead of a Leading Man like you, Thespis, I am merely your follower.
Perhaps I could be called history's first…uhh… Thespian?!
Jerkus: History’s first…uh…Th-th-th-theth-pian.
Malarckus!
Glaucus: And here's Jerkus, history’s first critic!
Jerkus: Well I, for one, need the Chorus to back me up, to keep me in step with
the group mind, to keep me in line!
Glaucus: What
you do, Thespis, is Art. And Craft. It
requires Art, Craft, and a courageous heart to step forward into the torchlight
and stimulate our intellects, arouse our emotions, stir our psyches with only your
words and actions.
Thespis: Brother, you should be directing this whole
show.
Glaucus: What would that make me then? A Director?
Thespis: No, a tyrant.
(All 3 share a knowing
laugh. Pause. Laugh again.)
Glaucus: Speaking of tyrants, (indicating Jerkus) Pericles wants to defeat a tyrant. That is his
motivation. He stands above the battlefield, (indicating the audience) addressing
archers, spearmen, charioteers, and common soldiers, trying to rouse them
to righteous indignation against an evil tyrant. Pericles appeals to their clan
pride as Thracians! He wants to motivate them into fighting and dying for
Thrace. When he says “I am Pericles!”, he is declaring, “Pericles has arrived! Let
the fight begin!”
Thespis: And this is motivation?
Glaucus: If your motivation is true to real life,
Thespis, if we recognize and sympathize, then yes, I believe the audience will
accept you as the hero.
Jerkus: They are lighting the torches. The
flutes will start soon.
Thespis: How is my hair?
Glaucus: Tousled. Like a hero. Sword belt secure? (Thespis tightens his sword belt) Loins
girded? (Thespis flashes his underwear
under his toga) Good and good. Ok, here goes. Let us each don our mask.
Jerkus: Don’t flub your precious line.
(They face audience side-by-side, with Thespis in the middle. All 3 solemnly
pull down a mask from atop their heads. Thespis is Tragedy. Glaucus and Jerkus
are Comedy. Actors may pantomime if no actual masks are available.)
All 3 in chorus: Ahhhhhhh…. (Glaucus and Jerkus repeat chant over Thespis’ line.)
Thespis: (with
a roar in voice) I…Am…(draws sword)...Testa-cleez!
(Glaucus chokes on chant. He pulls up his mask.
Now his face has become Tragedy. Jerkus pulls up his, but remains Comedy
under his mask. Fade to blackout as the panting Thespis, oblivious of his flub,
turns to Glaucus for approval.)